Washington (The Plebeian): According to several sources inside the White House the President is intentionally trying to make the border situation look as bad as possible to distract from the Mueller probe. “You think we’d start up interment camps for the hell of it?” exclaimed one anonymous aide. “We totally would, but that’s not what’s going on here. We’re doing it because we need something to take the heat from Mueller.” Another White House spokesman chimed in saying, “every time Bob is about to fuck us with some indictments we get the media riled up over something stupid like civil rights and it’s working, instead of looking like criminals we look like racists and that’s perfectly electable in this country.”
In response to this story Sarah Huckabee Sanders announced that all legally working aliens would have to have a new green card badge visibly sown on their clothing for quick identification.
